Some of our popular folksters
Yes, we all have phones …
But are you using yours correctly?
Take Test Now
- When is it appropriate to giddily text back and forth with someone? a. While driving on a multi-lane highway b. In a meeting (as long as you pretend it’s “important business”) c. While someone else is trying to talk to you “in person” d. At the dinner table with your family e. All the above
- How often should you check your newsfeed? a. About every hour, so long as it’s a slow news day b. Whenever you pick up your phone c. Multiple times per hour d. Whenever you’re bored or unmotivated to do something else e. All of the above
- What’s your least favorite thing to do with your phone? a. Take a selfie b. Talk to a person c. Social media d. Contribute to Big Data e. Google search
- When should you not have your phone? a. Never b. At the dinner table c. While sleeping d. While exercising e. While swimming in the ocean
See answer key at the bottom
And remember, proper phone usage is a key to a happy and healthy life. That means putting the phone first (and sometimes even second) and everything else third, if not even fourth.
This public service announcement is brought to you by:
Answer Key 1e, 2e, 3b, 4a
Have you or a close friend …
Been unfairly stuck in line?
Uncle & Uncle is in your corner
And did the line next to you move more quickly, or even worse — did a new line form that allowed people behind you to quickly check out? And if so, did it cause you psychological harm? At Uncle & Uncle, we’ll makes sure you’re always first in line and served quickly (conditions apply).
Remember, don’t wait or be late — Call Your Uncle!
Listen Folks, it’s pretty simple …
Listen to Buck’s AM Radio broadcast
How do I know? A lot of it is just going with my gut. But there’s also the 10/90 Rule. What is the 10/90 Rule? Not to get into too much shop talk, basically the rule works like this. Let’s just say that only ten percent of Bigfoot sightings are correct (and we know the percentage is a lot higher than that), then Bigfoot exists. And if Bigfoot exists, where is the evidence? That’s where the cover up comes in. But that’s getting pretty advanced. If you’re just starting out, I recommend my “Field Guide to Bigfoot” book.
And remember folks: Fear the dangerous fringe middle, sometimes called the silent majority. And yes, I am afraid of bunnies too. (They are so sneaky!)
There’s a lot of confusion …
Swirling around the “late night smokey boiler room.”
Burt’s happy to talk his record, any time and anywhere
For a lot of people, there’s a knee-jerk reaction that it’s a waste of time, or even worse — a distraction from a productive life. Not for Candidate Burt Silver. The late night smokey boiler room is where he finds his sweet spot, and where he gets down to what he does best — pulling in lots of earnings, coming up with all his best ideas, and strapping on a late night feedbag at the all-night dinner afterwards. How late afterwards? Usually by the time Burt shows up at the late-night dinner, the dawn of a new day is starting to break. That’s actually how Burt came up with his campaign slogan: “It’s a new dawn with Burt Silver, because he stayed up all night to see it.” New Dawn is also the name of his campaign song, as sung by Bobby Angel.
The truth about Burt Silver is this: He gets the job done.
I’d like to clear some things up.
Yes, it’s true: I am The Boogie Phone. But I’m really not as bad as everyone says. By “everyone,” I mean whatever they’re saying on the internet.
More about me: (1) Think of me as your most trusted advisor. Or in other words, don’t ask a friend – ask me! (2) In general, you should spend as much time with me as you can. When you’re bored, pick me up. (3) Think of me part friend and part hobby. Over time I hope to convince you I’m your only friend and only hobby.
Now time for the quiz:
(1) How often should you clean your phone? (a) once a day, (b) as needed, (c) never, (d) at least once a year.
(2) How much time should you spend on your phone (per day)? (a) up to but not to exceed 24 hours, (b) all waking hours, (c) as much as possible, (d) all the above
(3) What’s the best place to get accurate news? (a) old-fashioned newspaper, (b) social media, (c) word of mouth, (d) AM radio, (e) search engine
(4) True or false: Reading from a book strains your eyes?
See answer key below.
In summary …
Over time I think you’ll truly come to see it my way.
Answer Key: 1c, 2d, 3b, 4t
Did you know …
That the internet cannot smell.
Introducing Nose from Complete Whiff
That’s right: the internet conquered everything, except the sense of smell. And thank God. Just think about the long list of things that the internet knocked off: Newspapers, hard back books, handwritten letters, a list of hobbies that is too long to count, the rotary phone (okay, maybe that was already dead), and many more that I am too tired to think of right now. The good news: Smell is doing as good as ever and maybe better than ever before thanks to its inability to be digitally recreated or imitated or faked. Until now: Find out from Nose (above) about his plan to capture his fair share of the internet pie.
Greetings Fellow Strummers,
My name is Guitar.
Introducing Guitar from Nature Folk
And I know what you’re thinking: A talking guitar? Well, you can’t have a Nature Folk Movement (NFM) without a guitar at a campfire. What exactly is the NFM? It’s where we go about fixing nature one campfire talk, one folk song and one waterside chat at a time. If you think that’s far fetched, don’t forget – you’re talking to a guitar! Our goal at Nature Folk? To deliver quality campfires to your digital doorstep to help you reconnect with the natural world around you and rediscover how we used to do things in the Before Phone (BP) era prior to the smartphone and internet taking over our lives.
So enjoy, and as always, thanks for stopping by,
Have you or a close loved one …
Ever been startled by the blare of horn?
Uncle & Uncle is in your corner
And did the rude horn blast cause you to feel distracted for the rest of the day, and possibly cause psychological harm? If so, not to worry, Uncle & Uncle is in your corner. We’ll not only make sure the person who perpetrated the act is brought to justice, we’ll make sure you only hear polite toots.
Don’t let beep make you lose sleep — Call Your Uncle!
What’s could possibly be crazier …
Than a phone-eating dinosaur?
Answer: How about a podcast hosted by a talking guitar? As odd as that may seem, you can’t have a Nature Folk Movement (NFM) without and guitar by a campfire. At Firelight Radio, the content is campfire-inspired and guitar-guaranteed. That means you’re going to hear a little crackling and you’re going to hear a little plucking. Well, actually plucking is a bit of an exaggeration. Guitar may look like a guitar but his playing skills are pretty much limited to strumming.
The good news is that Guitar always has a special guest to help him get down the bottom of what the NFM is all about. In this episode, Dino the Dinosaur from the obscure geologic epoch know as “Before Phones” is in the special guest. Dino’s quest? To try to find his way back to the epoch Before Phones, also known as BP. His method for getting there is eating every phone that he sees.
It was a Time of Great Phonelessness